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What Can I Do? John Smith and Autistic Catholics

October 7, 2024

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Continuing our series called “What Can I Do?,” I would like to introduce you to John Smith. After spending his life aware that he was somehow different than others, he received a diagnosis of autism* in 2023. Knowing from his own experience there is a need for autistics to have access to a community that understands what it means to live in a world where you are misunderstood and often judged, he took the initiative to start a new organization called Autistic Catholics. Here others can “learn to live in their bodies, accept and authentically express their autistic selves, and give glory to God through this wonderful gift in the Body of Christ!”

John Smith

In this interview, John has given us a great window into what it is like to be autistic, and I am very grateful. He has also shared his exciting plans for a new nonprofit organization he has begun to serve other autistics. John is starting small, but as you will read here, his vision is expansive and very much needed. 


Mark Bradford: John, thanks so much for your willingness to share your story with us and to tell us about the new organization you have formed to support autistic Catholics. First, why don’t you give us some background on yourself and your own journey to your diagnosis of autism. 

John Smith: Well, thinking back, I can see and appreciate my autism from a very young age. I recognize in my childhood autistic stimming, ways of monotropic thinking, and unique socializing that I would now say were 100 percent autistic traits. Things like repetitive finger and hand movements, focus on minute details of things, and echolalia in conversation (repeating words and phrases that another says), just to name a few. 

I don’t think we really understood the autism spectrum very well when I was young compared to what we know today—and I still think we have a ways to go. We’re only beginning to understand the neurology of this neurotype (autism), which is beginning to shape how we think about neurology in general. Maybe autism is a key to unlocking a lot that we have yet to fully understand about the brain. In beginning to understand more about this specific neurotype, we’re realizing that there are quite a few neurotypes. And so, just recently—in the last decade or so—we’ve come to better appreciate neurodiversity, the phenomenon that shapes how we understand the broad range of human brain types. We’re now beginning to embrace neuro-complexity. 

I’ve begun to find acceptance in who I am in the midst of others, without being too hard on myself when I don’t fit in as well as I would like.

I’ve always had a fascination with human psychology, but when I studied psychology in the ‘90s, I wasn’t hearing much about strengths-based approaches to human psychology that interested me enough to pursue it as a career. The fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders—that was my reference at the time—was essentially a field guide to “abnormal psychology,” a course I took in college, and deficit-based approaches to understanding difference. Back then, as a young adult, I wouldn’t have pursued an assessment like I did last year. So I lived for a couple decades before I was finally given to re-assimilate myself in the world of human psychology and diagnostics. 

As far as domestic life goes, I’m a convert to the Catholic faith and was confirmed in 2005 and then married in 2006. I’ve lived in some great areas of the country: Wyoming, Wisconsin, Chicago. We’re now in southwest Colorado, our favorite of them all. I’ve enjoyed working with several nonprofits—some serving people with disabilities—and raising funds for some wonderful causes. 

I’ve heard from other autistics whose diagnosis came as a relief after many years of wondering why they felt different, about how they felt they had to “mask” their behaviors to try to fit in, or to compensate for what they felt was lacking in themselves. Was that your experience, and can you explain to those who are not familiar with autism what that experience of finally having a diagnosis was like? 

It’s true, masking is a significant aspect of our identity formation. And, yes, the diagnosis did come as an affirmation of something about me and how my brain works that is simply true. As I said earlier, I think we’re maturing in our understanding of this neurotype, and so living one’s autism authentically in the context of the wider culture is becoming safer for us. There are way too many examples of people who’ve been injured or even killed because of their autistic behavior. 

I actually just wrote a blog piece about being formed and authentically growing in virtue according to the personality God gave us. But I really think the simple fact is to be safe and find some success socially and professionally, autistics have to curate our social selves to be—as best we can—acceptable to others. To try to act “normal,” our personality becomes a synthesis of our authentic selves combined with who we need to be to stave off and flourish amidst so much ableist thinking by many who are not unaware of it. This brings up another aspect of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and that is rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) which factors into all of this.

Since I’m learning how to unmask safely around others—which means allowing myself to incorporate stims and facial expressions, or lack thereof—I’ve begun to find acceptance in who I am in the midst of others, without being too hard on myself when I don’t fit in as well as I would like. 

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So, again, I do live in this tension between living a more authentic self and a more curated version of myself for safety, but that’s really all of our stories, at least for those autistics who recognize the impact of their stimming and self-regulation in the midst of others. I cannot overstate just how much autistics are constantly having to self-regulate in order to survive. 

The energy we put into this dimension of our autistic lives is huge. Honestly, if I were to share a glimpse of an autistic person moving through the world versus an allistic (non-autistic person), it would be abundantly evident that our attempts to self-regulate in the midst of sensory overload are huge. This is to simply stave off meltdowns or those times when we’re unable to effectively self-regulate, resulting in a sensory overload. In such cases, we’re known to engage in self-injurious behavior like slapping, yelling, hitting, and so forth. At those times, our bodies enter a state where we just need space from the sensory and environmental stimulation that’s overwhelming our brains.  

So, you have formed this new organization called Autistic Catholics to help support others who are looking for a community of peers where they feel like they can be themselves and share their Catholic faith. Please tell us about your idea and your plans for the organization. 

This calling came as a surprise to me recently. I received my autism diagnosis on August 8, 2023 (the feast of St. Dominic, who is one of our patrons), and since then I’ve been simply hoping to live my autism in my body more authentically, recognizing when I have a need to stim, observing my brain’s monotropic thinking, things like this. My main objective has just been to be more aware of how I am and withhold judgment—which is hard because shame can be such a large part of our autistic stimming—and try to come to a new place of self-acceptance. 

Then, on July 25, 2024, the feast of St. James, my heart began to move for those like me who were feeling lonely and unwelcome or who lacked a sense of belonging in the Church with only a few friends with whom they could talk about the faith alongside their disability. Remember, most of us sitting in the pews are masking our autistic behaviors, so we may be sitting right next to you. You may see us swaying when we’re standing, or we simply come in, sit down, and leave when Mass is over like everyone else. 

I’m hoping through Autistic Catholics to offer Catholics all across America who are either discerning, identifying, or have been diagnosed on the autism spectrum an opportunity to come together on Wednesday nights—what I’m calling “Weekly Wednesdays”—to begin sharing their stories, to find belonging with other autistic Catholics, and to be encouraged to grow in those transformative and theological virtues of faith, hope, and charity. 

My plans for the apostolate are really quite simple. Our first meeting was held on October 2 at 7 p.m. Mountain Time. As our community grows, I imagine we’ll want to work more strategically with the National Catholic Partnership on Disability (NCPD), which I’ve already had conversations with, as well as diocesan offices to establish regional affiliates who can work more closely with their bishops, priests, and deacons to provide inclusive Masses, sensory-friendly liturgies, and things like that as more autistic Catholics emerge across the country and the community grows and matures.

The autistic community is incredibly diverse in many ways, but regarding the range of affect, who do you think would be the best fit to participate in Autistic Catholics? What about non-speaking individuals? Is there a way they could participate in your online forum? 

Most of us sitting in the pews are masking our autistic behaviors, so we may be sitting right next to you.

That’s a great question! I need to develop a FAQ page on the site. Right now, I’m imagining that non-speaking folks would use the chat feature to participate in community conversations. Beyond that, I have to acknowledge that we’re really somewhat limited because of what we’re offering. We hope to engage as many autistic Catholics as possible throughout the country and even into Canada. I can foresee the challenges we may face in language differences, time zones, and internet access, and I can see developing new features to address these challenges as the community matures. But for now, I’m simply hoping to begin building this community with these access limitations as they are and then expand opportunities as possible. 

John, you told me that you’re also a convert to the Catholic faith. How do you think the Catholic Church could better evangelize people living with developmental disabilities?

For my grad school thesis, I poured myself into studying the formation of hospitals in the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries in Europe. In those days, hospitals were a lot different than they are today, and sometimes they even served as prisons! In a way, I might argue that the way we treat people today is still rooted in this model of disability. That is, we “other” people and form boundaries, be they physical or social. Those who identify or are identified as being disabled feel like they are separate from the “normal” folks who are being evangelized. We have yet to fully realize Jesus’ prayer for unity.

I believe the first way of evangelizing is to remove those barriers. I think we can do that by forming inclusive spaces, creating accessibility features in the physical or digital space. There’s a great business management book called The Canary Code: A Guide to Neurodiversity, Dignity, and Intersectional Belonging at Work that highlights how to do this with principles that can easily be adapted to include how we worship. Another would be Autism and Worship by Armand Léon van Ommen. He really gets at the heart of it all. 

It’s essentially about being intentional in building a sense of belonging for all. For autistics, having sensory-friendly liturgies and spaces makes a lot of difference in our ability to participate without being overwhelmed. There are a lot of allistic people who would even benefit from this, too. Right now, I stand in the vestibule and wear sunglasses as needed while also having ear loops that sit in my ear canal to dampen the noise at Mass. I’m also still wearing a mask because of COVID. I know there are dioceses that are making adaptations to accommodate people on the spectrum and, wherever possible, that’s tremendous. 

John, thank you again for taking time for a conversation. What you’re doing is so important and shows a great initiative to help others in the Church find their way to a deeper practice of their faith and to community. I hope you’re an inspiration to others to do similar things. How would people get in touch with you to learn more about Autistic Catholics? 

Any and everyone can check out what we’re doing at AutisticCatholics.org. Beyond that, you can reach me at [email protected].

If anyone would like to join us for meetings, please fill out the contact form: https://www.autisticcatholics.org/contact. Once you’re on my list, I’ll start sending the Zoom details for those meetings. 


*It is important to clarify for those who may not be familiar with autism that it is identified on a spectrum from level one (mild) to level three (severe). People with level three autism need substantial support throughout their lifetime and often a safe living environment where they can’t harm themselves or escape into danger. According to the latest statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in thirty-six children who are eight years old are identified with autism spectrum disorder. Most of us know autistic individuals from our parishes, and I am especially appreciative that John has helped us understand the characteristics of these brothers and sisters of ours so that we can work together to welcome them, better understand each others’ differences, and overcome whatever judgment we might have of their behaviors at Mass.