Jo Burr
St. Catherine of Bologna Writing Group
A friend asked me, “Who is your favorite go-to saint?” I asked her what she meant. She replied, “You know, the saint that you ask to intercede for you, as a friend. The one you chat with as you move through your day.”
This was new to me. I pray and converse with God, but a specific go-to saint, that was new. I felt like I was missing out. How amazing to have a go-to saint in heaven. What was I waiting for?
I was heading off to Pacem in Terris for a silent retreat. I was staying in my own one-room hermitage in the woods with a basket of fruit and bread. My prayer focus would be to search for my go-to saint. Once there, I went to the main house library to seek out some wisdom. With three days alone in the woods and with no electricity, I was excited to see what adventure lay ahead of me.
As I browsed through the stories of the saints, Teresa of Avila made me stop in my tracks. She was adventuresome. I like adventures. She liked extravagant parties before she decided to get serious about her vocation. Me too! And she was funny and honest.
Teresa lived from 1515 to 1582. She worked hard to reform the Discalced (“without shoes”) Carmelites. I love this story, which is attributed to her and gives insight into her relationship with God: One day, as her carriage was being pulled along a bumpy road, she was actually thrown out into a cold, muddy puddle. Her response to God was: “If this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few!” Her ability to be frustrated and honest with God was something I wanted as well.
Once Teresa gave up hosting elaborate parties in the convent and dedicated her life to restoring it, she was fiercely devoted to her sisters. Her teaching them how to pray and loving them with truth and humility are qualities I try to emulate in my vocation as a wife and mom.
I decided to read The Interior Castle. Teresa was instructed to write it for her sisters as a tutorial on contemplative prayer. I brought it back to my hermitage and read through the entire book in twenty-four hours. I took notes and could not get enough. The beautiful thing was that a lot of it went right over my head, and that was OK with me.
In Chapter 1 of the First Dwelling Place, the imagery of the castle is introduced: “We consider our soul to be like a castle made entirely out of a diamond or of very clear crystal, in which there are many rooms . . . where the Lord says He finds His delight.”
My face beamed and my heart swelled when I read that quote and sat with the words surrounding me like a warm blanket. Thinking of the Lord finding his delight in my soul changed me. I wanted to do better, because really, I may have done a few things in my life that the Lord did not put in the delightful category. But now, I felt a great responsibility. My dignity as a daughter of God was awakened in a new way. And with that came a great responsibility.
How could I not make a more solid effort to be more attentive to my family, to be more attentive to my work, to be more attentive to everyone I encounter? Because, I continued thinking, everyone I meet also has a soul that the Lord delights in. And if he can find some delight, maybe I can too.
A bit further in the first book Teresa writes, “And in the center and middle is the main dwelling place where the very secret exchanges between God and soul take place.”
Wow! A place for God to exchange secrets with me. Ever since I was little I have wanted a secret place to go and be with friends. Throughout The Interior Castle, Teresa is giving her readers instructions on how to find that secret place in our own souls.
At the end of my retreat, I had made my acquaintance with St. Teresa of Avila. And now we are dear friends. She is my spiritual guide, teaching me to pray and showing me that everything she shares is from God and is intended to lead me to a closer relationship with God. What more could I ask for from a friend?