In the blue, early light of a frigid winter’s morn, I answered my crying newborn’s call.
Shuffling into her bedroom with one sleepy eye opened, I deftly scooped my daughter, June, from her crib, held her warm body close, and began to sing a lullaby to sooth her back to sleep.
“Oh, those Golden Grahams/
Oh, those Golden Grahams /
Crispy, crunchy, graham cereal, brand new breakfast treat …”
June nestled into the crook of my neck and began to lightly snore to this now familiar tune, sung in dulcet tones and delivered in my best Homer Simpson voice.
Those of you pop culture junkies out there might remember Homer fearfully intoning the jingle during reentry into the atmosphere in Season Five’s episode of “Deep Space Homer.” Those of you who are now-one-year-old daughters of mine might remember it from any given night before bedtime.
The family Simpson has infiltrated my parenting beyond just the odd song—it’s a revelation that might lead some of you to politely chuckle, step away from the computer, and then put in a panicked phone call to the authorities. Sure, the show is as pervasive a cultural touchstone as my generation has experienced, but parenting? The Simpsons? That child-throttling assemblage of drunks, degenerates and underachievers? What, in Reverend Lovejoy’s name, could one learn from them?...